Q: Are you really from New York?

A: Me? No. But the owners were born and raised in Manhattan.

Q: How long has this place been open?

A: We opened in 1983, you can do the math. please show your work.

Q: Do You Deliver?

A: No but you can always call ahead and pick a pizza up.

Q: Do you accept credit cards?

A: No, But we do accept cash and LOCAL checks.

Q: Oh then I’ll pay with my debit card.

A: NO! Sorry we don’t take that either, but they do have a bank macine next door at Kornblatts.

Q: Whats a Kornblatts?

A: I don’t know.

Q: Is that guy ignoring me because I’m on my cellular telephone?

A: Yes!

Q: BUT I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A VERY IMPORTANT PHONE CALL!

A: Then you need to focus on your very important phone call, the pizza will be waiting.

Q: Can I customize my slice?

A: No. That would compromise the integrity of an already perfect slice. If you want Pepperoni and Pineapple that bad you can order a whole pie.

Q: PLEASE! IT’S FOR MY KID!

A: Your decision to breed does not negate the need for pizza integrity.

Besides you are a better Parent than that!

Q: Do You have Ranch

A: No, Ranch is for salads.

Q: Do you have White Sauce?

A: No, I’m not sure what that is but it probably goes on a salad too.

Q: Do you have salads?

A: No

Q: Why not?

A: If Phil wanted to eat salads he would have opened a lettuce stand.

Q: Are you related to the Escape from New York in San Francisco?

A: Those restraunts were opened by Phil and Laurens brother after we had been open a while, but otherwise we are and always have been unaffiliated.

Q: Why don’t you have potato pizza like in S.F.?

A: Because that’s just wrong.

Q: Do You have a machine that makes water?

A: Uhmmmm.... yesss?